Life

So life doesn't seem to be getting any easier, not that I expected it. I just wish that at some point things would start to turn around. Maybe I should try and focus on the good things in my life. The things I'm grateful for. Like my two rambunctious out of control boys, althought they drive me crazy and I'm glad that I have them.They love me no matter what. (Except when they are mad and yell at me.) I'm thankful that I have a job, it might not be my favorite and there might be contention between me and some co-workers. But I have an understanding boss who works with me instead of firing me. And I get paid a good salary. I'm thanksful for my family that loves me no matter what I say or do. I grateful for my senses, that I can see, and hear, and smell, and taste and feel.

I've heard it said that if you start listing you blessings you'll soon forget about your problems. Maybe I'm just not trying enough, they seem to be in the foremost of my mind all the time, making it hard for me to concentrate on anything else. I should be happy this weekend should be one of celebration, but I don't have the motivation to make my self leave the house. I know I need help, but I don't know where to turn.

I feel safe posting this here and getting it out, because it's been so long since I posted that most likely no one is reading my blog and it can just be a journal for me. I guess I could make it private then that would really keep it from being read, but I think that somewhere in the back of my mind maybe I do want people to know how I feel Maybe there is someone who can help me.