Life

So life doesn't seem to be getting any easier, not that I expected it. I just wish that at some point things would start to turn around. Maybe I should try and focus on the good things in my life. The things I'm grateful for. Like my two rambunctious out of control boys, althought they drive me crazy and I'm glad that I have them.They love me no matter what. (Except when they are mad and yell at me.) I'm thankful that I have a job, it might not be my favorite and there might be contention between me and some co-workers. But I have an understanding boss who works with me instead of firing me. And I get paid a good salary. I'm thanksful for my family that loves me no matter what I say or do. I grateful for my senses, that I can see, and hear, and smell, and taste and feel.

I've heard it said that if you start listing you blessings you'll soon forget about your problems. Maybe I'm just not trying enough, they seem to be in the foremost of my mind all the time, making it hard for me to concentrate on anything else. I should be happy this weekend should be one of celebration, but I don't have the motivation to make my self leave the house. I know I need help, but I don't know where to turn.

I feel safe posting this here and getting it out, because it's been so long since I posted that most likely no one is reading my blog and it can just be a journal for me. I guess I could make it private then that would really keep it from being read, but I think that somewhere in the back of my mind maybe I do want people to know how I feel Maybe there is someone who can help me.

Going to try again

Well once again it's been a long time since I posted anything on here. :) Let's see a quick update of sorts. The end of May beginning of June, Guy and I along with Megan, Melissa and Gary had the wonderful opportunity to head down to Brazil and pick up Jacob. It was so awesome. We had a really good time. Jake is now home, and about 4 weeks after he got home he proposed to his cute loving adorable girlfriend Kathryn. They have set a date of October 1st.

Ashley graduated from Fremont High School just before we left to get Jake. It was a nice ceremony, not too long and good talks. She's working for the summer and going away to school in the fall. It's going to be weird to be here just Guy and I with the boys in a few months, but it's an exciting time for her to be going out on her own.

Megan graduated from UVU with her Associates of Science degree and is now working and preparing to go on her mission. She's pretty excited and has a good head on her shoulders with what she wants out of life.

Caden finished first grade and is getting excited to be a second grader in school. He has recently hit a growth spurt. I can't believe how fast he is growing up.

Zach is getting excited to start Kindergarten. It seems strange to think that my little boy is five. He still seems so little to me compared to other kids his age.

Me, I've just been taking it day by day at work and home. I feel like I have way too much to do and not nearly enough time to do it. I know that's how pretty much everyone feels. But it weighs down on me alot. Anyway, I'm thinking of using this as an outlet to get off my chest how I feel. I hope it works.

Only 102 days until......

Jake comes home. I know it's crazy I can't really believe it myself, I'm sure the next three and a half months are going to fly by. Guy and I are hoping that we can go down and pick him up. That would be the trip of a life time. In honor of Jake coming home I'm going to read the Book of Mormon in 100 days. I found a chart to help keep me on track, it also has a quote by an apostle or other leader and then a thought question. I'm going to try and post the thought questions along with my response so that I keep my motivation up. I'm excited to start this, anyone else that wants to give it a try here's where I found the charts. Mormonshare.com and smileadventures Good Luck and Enjoy

Love Story meets Viva La Vida

Just a quick note

Tonight as I was getting the boys to turn off the TV and go to bed, Zach looks up at me and says "What about my ball Mom?" I said "What ball Zach?" "The one up my nose mom". Sure enough that little dork had shoved a little plastic ball up his nose. You know like the kind that are for air pellet guns. Now I'm sure you're all saying well hey all kids do that. This is the third (yes third) time that Zach has done this. The first time we were about ready to take him to the ER and dad saved the day. The second time I think was about the same. Tonight I was home with the kids, Guy was out working and I thought oh great what am I going to do. So I laid him down on the counter to get a better look, it wasn't that far up there, so I plugged the other side of his nose and said ok now blow! Nothing. Try again Zach one more time. He blew and the little plastic bugger popped right out. Ashley was in the room with me and we both looked at each other with a disgusted look on our faces. But it was quite funny, and luckily again no trip to the ER. You'd think that the kid would learn to not stick things up his nose.

Insomnia

So I'm thinking that I have insomnia I haven't gone to a doctor or anything, but I find myself up at all hours of the night. Not able to fall to sleep, my mind keeps working it just won't stop and I just keep thinking I'm so tired! So then I'm exhausted all day at work I get home and I'm so tired I just want to sleep but I think no just keep going until bed time then you'll be able to sleep. Then it gets to be 930 or 10 pm and I'm wide awake once again, usually until close to midnight or 1 am. If anyone has any suggestions of what I can do I'm all ears. I just want to sleep and feel rested again.

Wow! Been Way to long!

So I know that I've been away for a long time. Truth is I've been too busy facebooking, reading, and being lazy. Not a whole lot has been going on here. We had Christmas it was nice went down to my mom's house went sledding. Sledding, now that was fun. I hurt myself more than once but that's what it's all about right? Then came New Years, went down to Guy's parents house. Played some fun games, went sledding again! Hurt myself some more. Decided I'm too old for sledding.

Then came the January blahs! Had some tough weeks. In November my Grandpa Bown passed away, he'd been sick for a long time so it was a blessing for him to not be in pain anymore, but still sad to see him go. His funeral was the Saturday after Thanksgiving. My brother was able to come home for the funeral, and was actually the one that presented my uncle with the flag from my Grandpa's coffin. Then in January my Grandma Lewis passed away, she too had been sick for a long time. Both will be missed by everyone who knew them.

January 27th brought around Guy's birthday. I took him out to dinner while Ashley watched the boys for us. She sure is a sweet heart sometimes. He was somewhat disappointed as we hadn't baked a cake for his birthday. But I knew a secret, Megan was coming home for the weekend and had called and told me she wanted to make a cake and bring it up. I figured that two cakes was too many. So we had cake and ice cream with her over the weekend. Ashley went to a school dance that weekend. She looked very pretty. It's hard to believe that she is 16 and old enough to date.

Now around to February. Still nothing to exciting. We made a snowman last weekend. Megan came up again, which was wonderful. She gave us a wonderful valentines day gift of a gift card to Texas Roadhouse, and two movie tickets so that we could go on a date. She then said we were to go and she was watching the boys for us. She took them to get pizza and to get some popcorn at the store. Then brought them home and gave them a bath and watched a movie with them. The next day we played some games as a family and had a wonderful time.

Well that brings us up to this weekend and that shall be saved for another post all to itself.

I'll try and post a photo slide of the last three months soon as Guy gets home with his computer and the photos!

Elf This

So I know it's been a long time since I posted anything. Life's been a little crazy here. A couple of my friends and work and my sister-in-law have elfed themselves and it looked like fun so I tried it. I guess that Guy really can dance, who knew?

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

High School Tag

So a couple of my friends have done this and it looked kind of fun so I thought what the heck I'll give it a shot.

1. DID YOU DATE SOMEONE FROM YOUR SCHOOL? Yes I did

2.WHAT KIND OF CAR DID YOU DRIVE? 1985 White Chevy Cavalier, man I loved that car

3. DID YOU PASS YOUR DRIVER'S LICENSE TEST YOUR FIRST TRY? yep!

4. WHERE YOU A PARTY ANIMAL? Not so much really

5. WERE YOU CONSIDERED A FLIRT? I would guess Yes

6. WERE YOU IN BAND, ORCHESTRA, OR CHOIR? Nope

7. WERE YOU A NERD? Kind of, I was smart but I don't know that I was a nerd

8. WERE YOU ON ANY VARSITY TEAMS? Negative

9. DID YOU EVER GET SUSPENDED/EXPELLED? No

10. CAN YOU STILL SING THE FIGHT SONG? Heck Yes! Go Darts!

11. WHO WERE YOUR FAVORITE TEACHERS? Mrs. Gooch, Miss Hoge

12. WHERE DID YOU SIT FOR LUNCH? In the cafeteria or the hall

13. WHAT IS YOUR SCHOOL'S FULL NAME? Davis High School

14. WHAT IS YOUR SCHOOL'S MASCOT AND COLORS? A Dart, and Brown & Gold.

15. DID YOU GO TO HOMECOMING AND WITH WHO? Yes Junior year I went with Ben, and Sr year I went with Brandon. Had a great time both years!

16. IF YOU COULD GO BACK AND DO IT AGAIN WOULD YOU? Nope then my life wouldn't be what it is now and I wouldn't change that for anything.

17. WHAT DO YOU REMEMBER MOST ABOUT GRADUATION? It was really long and they said my name wrong like always.

18. WHERE DID YOU GO SENIOR SKIP DAY? Wasn't every day senior skip day?

19. WERE YOU IN ANY CLUBS? Yeah FBLA

20. HAVE YOU GAINED SOME WEIGHT SINCE THEN? I've gone up and down and up and down

21. WHO WAS YOUR PROM DATE? Jr year Brett S. Sr year I was stood up for prom how sad huh?

22. ARE YOU PLANNING ON GOING TO YOUR 10 YEAR REUNION? It was two years ago and I was going to go, but ended up helping my sister-in-law move instead.

23. DID YOU HAVE A JOB IN HIGH SCHOOL? I had three different jobs I think. I was a maid at a motel, then I was a telemarketer, then I work at Dariy Queen.

I tag all of you out there that want to remember high school. It was kind of fun to think back about things.

New Camera

This year is my ten year anniversary at work. It was actually back in July but I didn't get my gift until October I think. Just because I couldn't decide what I wanted to get. I finally decided on a new digital camera. The one that I had was about 5 years old went through batteries like a kid through candy. So the camera I got is a Nikon Coolpix. It's an 8.0 megapixel and it takes pretty good pictures. The night I brought it home the boys wanted me to take their pictures so I did and I got some pretty funny ones. Here they are. Oh yeah and thanks IHG for a great 3 month summer job!

Halloween '08

Yes I am aware this is late. But better late than never or something like that. :) So this year Caden was a tiger, ah scary, and Zach was a cute little dalmatian. Here's a couple of pictures. We went Trunk or Treating with the ward, and as luck would have it they hold the trunk or treat on our street because it's a dead end. So all we had to do was back down our driveway. How nice is that? The boys had fun, dad walked around with them, while I sat in the trunk and handed out candy. We were all done and by in the house by 645. It was nice. Then Ashley and her friends were in and out of the house until about midnight when all the friends had to leave. Didn't get any pics of them, but they're teenagers so really who cares. LOL

Dad and the boys

Caden the scary tiger

Zach they shy dalmatian

In Memory

In memory of Stephan J Bown

18 years ago today I lost my dad. He was killed in an auto vs cyclist accident. Here's a few things that I remember about him.

He had a wonderful sense of Humor
He loved me and my family very much
He worked hard so that we wouldn't go without
He was always willing to help anyone
He was just a big kid, he always told us he was president of the Peter Pan fan club
He loved the outdoors, camping, hunting, he was just getting into mountain biking
He loved cycling, I remember watching the Tour de France with him
He loved animals I think that we always had a dog or a cat or both

I'm sad that my dad didn't get to see me graduate from school, or see me off on my first date, or get to be there when I got married. But mostly I'm sad that he wasn't here for any of the little things, dinner at home when he would get us all rilled up and drive mom crazy, watching funny movies as a family, going camping up at Ferin, falling asleep in his banana chair, the way he laughed and talked, hearing stories about him growing up.

I love you dad. It seems very hard to believe that you have been gone for 18 years. Back then I didn't think that life would go on this long. I know that you are watching over all of us. I know
that you love us and that you are waiting for us to be together again as a family.

This is a picture of my dad and I taken the summer before he died. I was almost 12.

Jack-O-Lantern

Guy just finished helping (okay he really did it all) the boys carve a pumpkin. They were pretty excited. They got to go yesterday and help dad pick the pumpkin out. Then tonight Caden told dad what kind of face he wanted and dad drew it on, and carved it. It looks pretty good I think anyway, I mean it's not professional or anything. Here's a few pictures and can I just tell you that it is harder to take a picture of something in the dark without the flash. I was having a very hard time holding still.

The first face Caden wanted

The second face Caden wanted


Outside with the flash


Outside with out the flash.

The boys seemed to have a really good time and are so excited to dress up tomorrow they can hardly stand it. This is the first time we have carved a pumpkin in years, at least since we had the boys. I know what bad parents. But I'm thinking now that Caden is old enough and wants to that it will become an annual thing.

Crazy Kids

This video isn't the best because it was taken with my phone. But this was too cute to pass up. We went to a birthday/Halloween party at my sister-in-laws house. Towards the end of the night when most everyone had gone home the little kids started playing with Guy. The birthday boy had received a set of "Hulk" hands and they make noise when you hit them. The kids would run into Guy and he would bonk them on the head with the Hulk hand, they would fall down and then get right back up and go back for more. It was hilarious. I didn't get the best parts because I was in the other room. Before I got in there after they hit the ground they would make someone in the room count to 10 before they would get back up. It sounded pretty funny. Pay attention to about 25 seconds, Caden gets whacked pretty good. It's hilarious.

Fremont Homecoming '08

James putting Ashley's corsage on.

Ashely putting on James' boutonniere.

Ashley & James

Austin, Maddy, Ashley, and James

This is a tad bit late. But oh well. Ashley went to homecoming this year. Her date's name was James. Guy said that he seemed like a very nice kid. I didn't get to meet him because I was down in Cedar City with my family after the marathon. But here are a few of the pics that Guy took when James got to the house to pick Ashley up. She said that she had a good time. This was her very first date. Doesn't she look beautiful? :)

Museum

Saturday afternoon my sister-in-law and I took our kids to the Hill Aerospace Museum. I don't think I had ever been there before. Pretty sad to say seeing as I've lived in Utah my whole life and I've lived 7 miles from the museum for the last 3 years. Between the two adults we had 7 kids with us. My two boys, my two nieces, and my sister-in-laws three nephews. The oldest two were 7, then two 5, two 3 and a 18 months. It was kind of fun. We saw some really cool planes there. Both of the boys had such a good time. And the best part was it's free! If you haven't seen the museum I suggest taking a trip up to Roy to see it. I'd like to go again with my Grandpa who served in the Airforce so that he can tell me what all the planes are.

Four of the 7 kids. Caden, Alexia, John, and Zach.


Caden in an ejector seat. I didn't get one of Zach because there was a dad with his kids standing by us and as soon as Caden got out of the seat one of his kids got in and wouldn't get out until he had his picture taken and the mom was in another building with the camera. The dad wouldn't even make his kid get out. I was annoyed.

Caden & Zach in front of "Blackout". Caden thought the helicopter behind them looked like the one from transformers. LOL

St George Marathon '08

The fearless runners Lance, Jenica, Debbie (mom), Vic (dad)

First off BIG CONGRATULATIONS to my mom, dad, sister and brother for running in the St George Marathon this weekend. It was a rainy cold weekend, and only the 2nd time in the 32 years of the marathon that is has rained. My mom blames that on my dad as he tends to have the worst luck in the world. But I digress. They awoke very early Saturday morning to catch one of the first buses at 4 am! It was warm when they got off the bus, and by the time they got up to where the race starts it was raining, cold and windy. They all started running into a head wind, that was driving rain right at them.

My dear sweet dad made it to mile 13 running with pnemonia. When he stopped at the aid station they told him he was getting hypothermia and going into shock. He was shivering so bad he couldn't talk to the nurse there.

My crazy brother Lance ran the entire way, he said that he didn't walk once because he was afraid if he did he wouldn't start again. He finished in 4:09.

My mom bless her dear heart hates the cold more than anyone else I know (except for my Grandpa), she wasn't going to run, but her friend and running partner told her she had trained to hard to not finish. So she ran the marathon for her 2nd (and she says last) time and finished in 6:11.

My sister Jenica didn't train as much as she should have (although she should've learned from me that is not the way to do it). A little back story when I "ran" the marathon in 2006 I didn't train at all, and ended up walking most of the way. Because of that I finished at almost the very end. My family started getting worried about me so my brother Jeremy and Jenica started walking back along the raceway to find me. They found me and walked with me for about the last 1.5 to 2 miles. It was great that they pushed me like that. So anyway, we hadn't seen Jenica so Jeremy and I decided that we would walk back and find Jen. We found her at almost the same place that they had found me two years earlier. We walked with her to the finish line. She finished in 6:45. Six minutes faster than my time of 6:51. Here's a picture of me and Jen after we found her.
We had a good time staying in Cedar City for the weekend at the wonderful Holiday Inn Express.

Picture Tag

So my friend Theresa tagged me. What I am supposed to do is go to my computer and find the 4th file and the 4th picture in that file. Well I have a few different places that I keep my pictures so here goes. This first one is from my Aunt Cyndi's house. My sister Jenica and I went there in June of 2004 to see my cousin graduate from high school. My mom hadn't been back to see my Aunt's house so I was taking pictures so that I could bring them home and show her. This one happens to be of the addition that my aunt was adding on at the time.
This second one is of Easter 2006, this was just after we had gotten home from church and I wanted a picture of all the kids, so I had them stand in front of the only flowering tree we have in our yard. Caden did not want to be in the picture, he usually doesn't. Zach got his glasses in his Easter basket. And poor Megan her heels kept sinking into the grass. It was quite funny. :)

So I tag Ashley, Angie, and Becca. Come on girls I know that you have some great pictures to share.

Twilight Soundtrack

So as I'm surfing the net at home tonight I went to Stephenie Meyer's website. She has posted a single from the upcoming Twilight movie soundtrack. It's a new song by the group Paramore called Decode. It is so good. You should all go and check it out! That's all for now. I was just so excited I had to share. :) Happy Listening.

Interesting Find

So over the weekend Guy and I went down to his parents house. His dad is getting a wheel chair and we helped to clean so that he can get from one end of the house to the other. My in-laws are packrats to put it nicely. They throw nothing away. I love them to death, but their house is a mess. So as we were cleaning we came across this picture. It is from a photo-booth, it's Guy and his dad when Guy was about 9 I believe.

I can't believe how much Caden looks like his dad. This is a picture of Caden from Guy's family reunion in August. You can definitely see the resemblance.