Life

So life doesn't seem to be getting any easier, not that I expected it. I just wish that at some point things would start to turn around. Maybe I should try and focus on the good things in my life. The things I'm grateful for. Like my two rambunctious out of control boys, althought they drive me crazy and I'm glad that I have them.They love me no matter what. (Except when they are mad and yell at me.) I'm thankful that I have a job, it might not be my favorite and there might be contention between me and some co-workers. But I have an understanding boss who works with me instead of firing me. And I get paid a good salary. I'm thanksful for my family that loves me no matter what I say or do. I grateful for my senses, that I can see, and hear, and smell, and taste and feel.

I've heard it said that if you start listing you blessings you'll soon forget about your problems. Maybe I'm just not trying enough, they seem to be in the foremost of my mind all the time, making it hard for me to concentrate on anything else. I should be happy this weekend should be one of celebration, but I don't have the motivation to make my self leave the house. I know I need help, but I don't know where to turn.

I feel safe posting this here and getting it out, because it's been so long since I posted that most likely no one is reading my blog and it can just be a journal for me. I guess I could make it private then that would really keep it from being read, but I think that somewhere in the back of my mind maybe I do want people to know how I feel Maybe there is someone who can help me.

Going to try again

Well once again it's been a long time since I posted anything on here. :) Let's see a quick update of sorts. The end of May beginning of June, Guy and I along with Megan, Melissa and Gary had the wonderful opportunity to head down to Brazil and pick up Jacob. It was so awesome. We had a really good time. Jake is now home, and about 4 weeks after he got home he proposed to his cute loving adorable girlfriend Kathryn. They have set a date of October 1st.

Ashley graduated from Fremont High School just before we left to get Jake. It was a nice ceremony, not too long and good talks. She's working for the summer and going away to school in the fall. It's going to be weird to be here just Guy and I with the boys in a few months, but it's an exciting time for her to be going out on her own.

Megan graduated from UVU with her Associates of Science degree and is now working and preparing to go on her mission. She's pretty excited and has a good head on her shoulders with what she wants out of life.

Caden finished first grade and is getting excited to be a second grader in school. He has recently hit a growth spurt. I can't believe how fast he is growing up.

Zach is getting excited to start Kindergarten. It seems strange to think that my little boy is five. He still seems so little to me compared to other kids his age.

Me, I've just been taking it day by day at work and home. I feel like I have way too much to do and not nearly enough time to do it. I know that's how pretty much everyone feels. But it weighs down on me alot. Anyway, I'm thinking of using this as an outlet to get off my chest how I feel. I hope it works.

Only 102 days until......

Jake comes home. I know it's crazy I can't really believe it myself, I'm sure the next three and a half months are going to fly by. Guy and I are hoping that we can go down and pick him up. That would be the trip of a life time. In honor of Jake coming home I'm going to read the Book of Mormon in 100 days. I found a chart to help keep me on track, it also has a quote by an apostle or other leader and then a thought question. I'm going to try and post the thought questions along with my response so that I keep my motivation up. I'm excited to start this, anyone else that wants to give it a try here's where I found the charts. Mormonshare.com and smileadventures Good Luck and Enjoy

Love Story meets Viva La Vida

Just a quick note

Tonight as I was getting the boys to turn off the TV and go to bed, Zach looks up at me and says "What about my ball Mom?" I said "What ball Zach?" "The one up my nose mom". Sure enough that little dork had shoved a little plastic ball up his nose. You know like the kind that are for air pellet guns. Now I'm sure you're all saying well hey all kids do that. This is the third (yes third) time that Zach has done this. The first time we were about ready to take him to the ER and dad saved the day. The second time I think was about the same. Tonight I was home with the kids, Guy was out working and I thought oh great what am I going to do. So I laid him down on the counter to get a better look, it wasn't that far up there, so I plugged the other side of his nose and said ok now blow! Nothing. Try again Zach one more time. He blew and the little plastic bugger popped right out. Ashley was in the room with me and we both looked at each other with a disgusted look on our faces. But it was quite funny, and luckily again no trip to the ER. You'd think that the kid would learn to not stick things up his nose.

Insomnia

So I'm thinking that I have insomnia I haven't gone to a doctor or anything, but I find myself up at all hours of the night. Not able to fall to sleep, my mind keeps working it just won't stop and I just keep thinking I'm so tired! So then I'm exhausted all day at work I get home and I'm so tired I just want to sleep but I think no just keep going until bed time then you'll be able to sleep. Then it gets to be 930 or 10 pm and I'm wide awake once again, usually until close to midnight or 1 am. If anyone has any suggestions of what I can do I'm all ears. I just want to sleep and feel rested again.

Wow! Been Way to long!

So I know that I've been away for a long time. Truth is I've been too busy facebooking, reading, and being lazy. Not a whole lot has been going on here. We had Christmas it was nice went down to my mom's house went sledding. Sledding, now that was fun. I hurt myself more than once but that's what it's all about right? Then came New Years, went down to Guy's parents house. Played some fun games, went sledding again! Hurt myself some more. Decided I'm too old for sledding.

Then came the January blahs! Had some tough weeks. In November my Grandpa Bown passed away, he'd been sick for a long time so it was a blessing for him to not be in pain anymore, but still sad to see him go. His funeral was the Saturday after Thanksgiving. My brother was able to come home for the funeral, and was actually the one that presented my uncle with the flag from my Grandpa's coffin. Then in January my Grandma Lewis passed away, she too had been sick for a long time. Both will be missed by everyone who knew them.

January 27th brought around Guy's birthday. I took him out to dinner while Ashley watched the boys for us. She sure is a sweet heart sometimes. He was somewhat disappointed as we hadn't baked a cake for his birthday. But I knew a secret, Megan was coming home for the weekend and had called and told me she wanted to make a cake and bring it up. I figured that two cakes was too many. So we had cake and ice cream with her over the weekend. Ashley went to a school dance that weekend. She looked very pretty. It's hard to believe that she is 16 and old enough to date.

Now around to February. Still nothing to exciting. We made a snowman last weekend. Megan came up again, which was wonderful. She gave us a wonderful valentines day gift of a gift card to Texas Roadhouse, and two movie tickets so that we could go on a date. She then said we were to go and she was watching the boys for us. She took them to get pizza and to get some popcorn at the store. Then brought them home and gave them a bath and watched a movie with them. The next day we played some games as a family and had a wonderful time.

Well that brings us up to this weekend and that shall be saved for another post all to itself.

I'll try and post a photo slide of the last three months soon as Guy gets home with his computer and the photos!